I like even numbered years.  What can I say?  2014 sounds nicer than 2013.  I'm hoping this year that I'll have more room in my brain to write.  I'm hoping for more room in my brain to do lots of things.  Turns out transitions are hard for me.  There have only been a handful of times where I felt my brain was clear enough to see tasks and complete them.  I typically become overwhelmed and shut down.

New beginnings come.
Lovely fresh starts full of hope.
Make the most of them!

Time of a little venting

Dear Other Dietitians -

Why are you so mean????  Why do I feel so insecure around you?  I feel like there is this competition as to who can be the most professional, quote the most recent studies and say the phrase "evidence based" the most often.  It's true that we fight against anonymity in the medical world and that very few of us are recognized by other colleagues in clinical settings, but shouldn't we help each other?  Shouldn't we build each other up and support each other and UNIFY as we convince the world of how important we are?

When I worked in the hospital, people thought I was the social worker.  I wasn't assertive enough to make sure doctors and nurses knew what I was doing all the time.  I built some relationships, but that's challenging in a clinical setting.

There seems to be a hierarchy of RDs in the world.  The most respected are the ones seem to be the ones who work in the NICU or the ICU doing parenteral and enteral feeding calculations.  WIC and other community RDs are at the bottom of the rung.  I'm sorry, I didn't like the clinical side!  I'd rather keep people healthy than treat them in the hospital.  Plus all I did was CRUNCH NUMBERS!  Please judge me and make me feel like I couldn't cut it in the "real world."  Now I'm dealing with the RDs who work with people with eating disorders.  Most of these people have recovered from or are currently dealing with their personal disordered eating and are trying to "out-empathize" each other.  Who's the most understanding?  Who can deal with and connect to the widest variety of clients?

And then there's all the "research" out there.  We claim to be the experts on food and nutrition.  We're supposed to know how food effects the body under all circumstances.  Our position is untenable.  Western medicine does not know everything about the body and it does not know everything about food.  I entered this field looking for answers and I was taught the currently accepted theories of our time.  We get more information and misinformation every day.  Our industry is very much at the mercy of the government and the food and drug industry.  Studies that seem legitimate are contradicted by other studies.  Food beliefs and practices inspire what amounts to a religious fervor.  Who do you believe in?  Are you a disciple of the ADA, the AADE, the ACS, the academy, the ABIM, (fill in your information source of choice)?

Am I the only one who is lost here?  I feel like I'm trying to help clients navigate through a world of conflicting health messages without a map.  It's us versus the industry, the current body of accepted research, other health care professionals (including RDs) and the world!

We made our own obesi-heart diseaseabetes epidemic.  We need to unify, admit that we don't know everything, commit to what we do know and START BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER!

Love,

Me, RD, LD, CDE

Sometimes I feel like the moon
A reflector of other people's sunshine
Bouncing their brilliance back to them
Hidden, at times, by their mass
But I always come back
And I know
The night sky would never be the same
Without me

Week days rushing past hectic, manic, fly right by. weekend: revive me!

Aaaaand it's the weekend!

I've got some really exciting projects in my "bwain" right now but I haven't taken the steps to make them a reality. What am I waiting for? My friend Elizabeth has made some awesome lifestyle changes. She's really inspired me to start thinking about doing the same. Talking to Shandy has helped as well. I am coming out of the "nothing I do actually works to help me lose weight" slump. I've been tracking my calories with MyFitnessPal and I went walking twice this week. Husband is being super supportive. : ) He pointed out that whenever it's his idea to go walking, I say no. Yeah. I'm pretty much lame like that. Gotta get better. Gotta not be such a punk. The fog is slowly lifting, however. I'm doing better at making food. I just hope the momentum keeps building. It's so fascinating to live the stages of change over and over in my own life as I try to help other people make changes...

It's pajama time

It's one of those days. One of those "stay in your PJs all day" days. And, to quote the popular song: "I don't care! I love it!" Well. I sort of care. I've been struggling with the question for a long time. How does one balance rest with work? Do I trust myself to stop resting and start working again? I will say that I love love love snuggling my little man. : ) He is so precious!

And then there were 3...

Our little munchkin arrived 5 weeks ago. It's been an interesting and wonderful adjustment. He was born right as my husband was finishing grading finals and starting to look for other summer jobs. It's been more hectic than it needed to be but that seems to be the way we do things. Thank goodness for wonderfully supportive friends and family!!! I'm slowly learning how to get things done AND keep a baby healthy, clean and (mostly) happy. Every day is different. It's amazing how quickly he's growing! My one goal is to enjoy every phase for what it is and to not wish to fastforward or rewind. I want to enjoy the moment.

Aaaaaand GO!

Sunday was a bit of an emotional train wreck where endurance and patience were tested. Motherhood training? Maybe. I got to go to church by myself 'cause hubby was sick again, or rather, still. Two hours of 4 boys who are five/ six years old and FULL of energy and too smart. Just plain too smart. Most of them want to be funny for their peers. One wants to be funny for adults. It's very interesting. We all survived but there has to be SO MUCH boundary placement and maintenance that it takes all I've got. The good news is the husband is feeling dramatically better today and should be with me next week. Whew! Our late Valentines/ early Anniversary was a lovely success! I won't say complete success because I (with the unclear help of our phone GPS) got us lost several times. It was an exercise in patience and finding joy in the journey. We stayed in a CHARMING bed and breakfast. It was so beautiful! I had that "I can't believe I'm actually doing something this cool!" moment - it was pretty surreal. But, the fact was that we had made reservations for a fancy dinner on the harbor and a relaxing night at the B&B and there we were being adults. Together. Celebrating each other. With loads of tissues, Nyquil (not me 'cause I'm prego), cough drops, Vicks vapo rub, lots of sneezes and some coughing. Could we have rescheduled due to illness? I guess. But this was memorable. This trip I got to experience Portland on a different level. I got to relax and soak a little more in. I want to do that lots and lots and lots more in the future. I see us returning to the B&B and enjoying more relaxing weekends. There's such a personal-ness to a B&B that it feels like you're staying with friends. I love it! This post brought to you by the pizza delivery man who saved me from making dinner. I love the internet!

Reflections of a Mother-to-Be

I haven't met this little person yet, but he's growing inside me bigger and stronger every day. I don't know how it gets more personal than that. We had an ultrasound when he was 10 weeks and it showed a baby with precious features on a body the size of a peanut. He's bigger now and every movement registers. It feels like someone tapping me from the inside. Is he trying to get my attention? Is he telling me that I don't have much time left until he's no longer on the inside of me? He'll be outside soon getting my attention in other ways. I am loving this phase of the pregnancy! He reminds me every day that he's there. I get to have him with me 24-7. Yes I have doubts about the future but I also have dreams at this point. I can still treasure my innocence. I don't know how worried I should be. I don't know at this point all the challenges our little family will have. Ignorance is bliss. For now, I'm grateful for what I don't know AND grateful for what I do know: a baby is coming!

Poems for Awesome

My head is too full No more information fits Digest quickly brain

Back at last! Poems for Awesome

Wow people. Wow! Almost two years ago I took a "friend" to the Marion County Fair. Now I'm married to him and having his baby in June. Blog: I've missed you. After dating and marrying a WONDERful man, I'm realizing that I want to get back to things I used to do. Just in time to have a kid and less time than ever, right? Of course! So here we go: Peace comes slowly listening to the fire Heart rate comes down body begins to tire mind still races wading through the mire expectations demand performance must be higher but I seek balance striving to walk the wire

I'm doing everything I possibly can to avoid organizing my room which includes finally blogging. It's been a wild week in which I have learned a lot about myself. Here's my quote of the day before I turn my music up too loud and clean like crazy:

"And again I say unto you, sue for peace, not only to the people that have smitten you, but also to all people;
And lift up an ensign of peace, and make a proclamation of peace unto the ends of the earth;
And make proposals for peace unto those who have smitten you, according to the voice of the Spirit which is in you, and aall things shall work together for your good.
Therefore, be faithful; and behold, and lo, I am with you even unto the end. Even so. Amen."

D&C 105:38-41

Pottery for Awesome

So I dragged a friend to the Marion County Fair today and it was very interesting. There were some BEAUTIFUL flowers, really striking photography and some adorable little animals. Why are little animals so cute? I liked the lil' bunnies and the Bantam hens. And the baby goats. The best part of the night was wondering in to the Willamette Art Center. We met a fantastic volunteer who showed us around and let us peek into the gallery. WOW! There are some incredibly talented artists in Salem. Their web site is www.willametteartcenter.com and they offer all kinds of fantastic classes. My favorite piece was the castle from Howl's Moving Castle. Enjoy!

Movies for Awesome

I have watched Guys and Dolls about a billion times since I moved to Salem. Marlon Brando is my old-school gangster crush. Apparently he's not the best singer so each song was pieced together after multiple takes, but I still love it! And with Frank Sinatra... it's just a great flick! I still laugh at the cheesy jokes.

Updates

My Eureka Optima Lightweight Upright is a mouthful to say but I ADORE it! Domestic bliss = a little yellow vacuum that cleans your house but wasn't too expensive and isn't giant. It has a name now as a sign of my affection. That's all I'm sayin'. More bliss of domesticity in the form of an old new couch, chair and ottoman. When I asked the lady to tell me how low she'd be willing to go on the price she told me $60 for the whole set. When I saw the furniture in person I was instantly in love and I gave her an extra $20 but I'm sure in my heart that I got an AMAZING deal. The set is GORGEOUS and super comfy! *contented sigh* And if that weren't enough, Trader Joe's has these little packets of India food that you warm in hot water and they're ready to eat. FABulous! I ate my Palak Paneer with rice (cooked with dried onion) on top of romaine lettuce. Recently I've been eating everything on lettuce leaves. I'm pretending to eat gluten free but I've decided that since all gluten free bakery products are super expensive and are sometimes gross that I'll sick with lettuce. I plan on sampling more gluten free fare when my food budget increases but lettuce works for now. My Palak Paneer was made with "no gluten ingredients used." I think that means gluten free...

Poems for Awesome

Trust no one.
Remember that
Everyone
Pitys the
Individual who can't help
Divulging
Any and all
Tidbits of
Information about themselves.
On the other hand
No man is an island.

Poems for Awesome

Careful when napping.
Regret can follow a snooze.
Sleepless nights follow.

Poems for Awesome

In the firelight
Hearers are not limited
Soul communes with soul.

Poems for Awesome

So tired and sore.
Cannot wait to go to sleep.
Good thing it's Friday.

Poems for Awesome

Self discovery
Where have you been all this time?
No more holding back.

Clarity of self
New beginnings from old news
Big steps in old shoes.